Monday, February 8, 2010
Jack, Lucy, and I frequent the library on a weekly basis, whether it's for storytime or just a fun outing. And I'm always browsing the "parenting" books section. It's a joke among my family how many pregnancy and parenting books Jason and I dive into, but I find a lot helpful information in most books I've read. And if nothing else, it's reassuring to read about parents dealing with the same situations I am and learn new strategies to try.
What can I say, I'm a teacher... :-)
Anyhow, during my last browsing I came across this book, "Parenting Your Adult Child"
Obviously, I don't have an adult child, but I was immensely curious about what this book had to suggest. Part of me was curious about myself, and whether my own parents have ever felt a need to "parent" me based on any of my adult decisions I've made in the past decade or so. I know they thought I was too young to get married when I did (I was 23 in case you were wondering), and they thought Jason and I needed to date much longer than we had (14 months). Made for a very rocky beginning to the wedding planning, but no doubt they felt a need to parent me despite my label of being an "adult." Perhaps I still give them cause for "parenting" me, I'm not sure...
(In fact, Jason and I found out not too long ago that one of our parents had some doubts about the first house we ever purchased, but never mentioned it until years later, AFTER we had sold it. We asked at that point, "Why didn't you ever say anything?!?" To which the response was, "Well, you were adults and didn't need our advice. You probably wouldn't have taken it anyway." While I can appreciate a parent not wanting to be overbearing, I think it's a common mistake parents make with their children -- this assumption that just because they're child is an adult, they don't need parents' advice. My two cents is that, sure, an adult child may not take the advice given, but that doesn't mean the parent shouldn't give it. Just being over the age of 18 doesn't mean a child no longer has a need for parenting. Can be quite the opposite if you think about it...take an adult who is living a life much like they did when they were a child, that's a person who quite obviously needs parenting. But I've digressed... :-)
So, I browsed through, seeing if there were any sections that would have applied to me...And as confident as I am that I'll work tirelessly to be the best parent, I'm equally confident my kids will make mistakes and poor choices, perhaps even after they've "flown the nest." So, I'm keeping this book in mind to revisit, in oh...about 16 years :-)
But if any of you readers have adult children and like me, enjoy learning things from books and other professionals, if you have an adult child who may still need a little parenting, perhaps you'd get something out of this book.
It's written by a Christian counselor and psychiatrist, and from the few pages I read while at the library, has some really good, practical advice you can start using with your adult child even today!