Ironic

So, you know that old Alainis Morisette song, "Isn't It Ironic"?  What I find humorous about that song is that several of the examples aren't really all the ironic.  For example, 500 spoons when all you need is  a knife...(are you singing it to yourself?)  Irony is, by definition, something contrary to what was expected.  And if you have 500 spoons, you just have too many damn spoons.

Well, today I have a perfect example of irony as it pertains personally to me.  And it's a rather unfortunate irony to boot :(  Five or so months ago, I received my certification to teach fitness classes, and I've been enjoying the heck out of it.  I workout - which I try to do most days of the week anyhow - yet I get paid for it, I drop off the kids in the gym playroom where childcare is provided, and after class I get to take a shower and get dressed all alone and in peace.  It's a fantastic side job for me right now.  Win, win, all around.

Two days ago, I took a yoga class to try to help relieve some tightness and pain I had been dealing with in my right knee (which has always been a "bum knee" and caused problems.  I had a monstrous brace on my leg under my wedding dress, in fact, and hobbled on crutches as we went on our honeymoon.  Usually when things flare up and my knee gets swollen, I have to lay off exercise for a few days, but it's nothing an ice pack can't remedy.)  During yoga class, I couldn't perform several basic postures that involved sitting on one's knees.  And despite icing my knee for days on end, I couldn't relieve the tightness I kept feeling.  The best way I can describe it is that for over a week, my knee joint has felt like a rubber band extended to it's fullest stretch, just waiting to snap.

So, this morning I went to visit Dr. Layton at Sports Med Orthopedics.  The nurse took xrays before I went to see the doctor, and when he walked into the room, he shook my hand and announced that I wasn't going to like what he had to say very much.  And he was right.  I headed into the office this morning expecting a report along the lines of, "You've overworked your knee, lay off it for a few days and here's a steroid shot..." or something like that.  Instead, he told me - and showed on the Xray - where there is a random PIECE OF BONE lodged in my knee.  And an MRI needed to be done to determine where exactly that "loose body," as it's called, came from.  And it's super plain to see in the xray too.  It's quite alarming to see your good knee next to a fuzzy-jointed, misaligned knee socket, with a big fat piece of bone just all up in it!  The technical term for what I have is "osteonecrosis of the femur."  And the task at hand is to figure out how to treat the "donor site" that oh so kindly donated a piece of bone which is currently stuck in my knee.

Doc said the good news is that the surgery to go in and remove the loose body is simple as pie (oh sure, as any impending surgery could be good news :(, but that he's quite concerned about where that broken piece of bone originated from.  Because if it broke off of a pivotal bone structure, or joint, etc.  that's bad news because there's of course, MISSING bone wherever it came from.  Oh yeah, and because of all this mess, I'm in the "baby phase of arthritis, which is a shame for someone as young as you."

At one point, a fat tear plopped onto the xray pages were were discussing and landed near the big circle of "mystery bone" making similar shape; he gave me a sympathy smile and suggested I circle it so as not to confuse it with the problem area.

Doc was super nice and understanding, and actually turns out I taught his daughter back in 5th grade.  He chuckled when we made the connection and remarked, "Well, this will make you feel old...Lauren started driving this year."  I nodded my head, wiped away a fresh tear, and thought to myself that actually being told I have arthritis is what really makes me feel old!  :(

So, to tie it all in, the irony sucks:  just a few months into a new, very fun, side endeavor of being a fitness instructor, I need knee surgery, which will no doubt affect my ability to instruct in a fitness setting.  Outcome definitely contrary to what I expected.

That was this morning, and this afternoon I went to get my MRI  (which was actually a small bit of heaven.  I got to go somewhere by myself, lie down for 30 minutes, and was instructed not to move.  Yes ma'am, can do!)  Those results were sent back to the doc, and my appointment to go over the MRI results and see what the plan forward from here is on Monday morning.  In the meantime, he said just keep doing how I was doing; this loose body has been there a long time, maybe even from teenage years he thought...Unfortunately, the pain seems even worse now, although I'm sure that's largely a mind issue.  Knowing I have LOOSE BONE in my knee probably makes it feel worse than it really might be.  But, it sure hurts a lot; way more than the usual flare up pain that I feel regularly.

So, we'll see what happens from here.  It's been a rotten day.  Actually, it's been a rotten week.  It's literally the last week of summer; kids are ready and need a change in routine, and Lord knows I do.  Lucy has been a whimpering, whiny kid most of her waking hours.  Literally, she just walks around whimpering like an injured chihwawa.  Connor has been mastering his talent of chucking small cars across the room, or at people.  And Jack, well Jack just takes his sweet time following any kind of direction or command I give him.  We've been late absolutely everywhere we've gone.  My family seems to refuse to put any effort in cleaning up after themselves, and it's left me with zero patience.  In a nutshell, my body and spirit just feel absolutely obliterated.  I've said to Jason several times that I'm just waving the white flag, I have nothing left.  One night earlier this week, I was asleep by 8 o'clock.  Sometimes, that's just how it goes.  Next week is bound to be better :)